always remember

May, 1987

At about which point, as if someone's simple longing has made it appear, comes a single needle-stroke through the sky:  the first star.

Let me be able to warn them in time.

—Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow

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She had the handwritten notes Roger used when he spoke before a Congressional hearing on the federal response to AIDS in August, 1983.  At that time the epidemic had killed over 750 mostly young American males and Roger's group tried to emphasize that many, many more Americans would die without a centralized coordinated effort that could, like in wartime, bypass the bottleneck of government regulations.  But they were speaking to bureaucrats and the warning was essentially ignored.

She painstakingly copied the cursive script of his signature on those notes beneath the summation of his testimony, ``I came here today to ask that this nation with all its resources and compassion not let my epitaph read, `He died of red tape.' ''

She put the date of that speech and the date of his death fifteen months later on the panel and got it ready for the first display in Washington, D.C. in 1987.  A decade after Roger wrote those words the quote was used on the invitation to a Castro Theater preview screening of an HBO movie based on Randy Shilts book ``And The Band Played On.''  Little had changed in the outlook for HIV infected humans during those ten years except that now the number of Americans who had died was nearly two hundred thousand.

_____________________________________

The Bay Area Reporter  was one of the free tabloid newsrags dropped off in stacks with five or six others just inside the door of coffee houses, taverns and cafes each week and it carried a small section near the middle for obituaries of people in the San Francisco gay community.  Through the 1970s and into the early 1980s there might be one or two entries per weekly issue, usually depicting older men, where they were from, where they'd worked, friends left behind, but men who had lived full lives and had died at a not unexpected age.  In the mid-1980s this changed utterly, photos of young men began showing on the pages, at first, when the disease was so emotionally charged, with descriptions ``died suddenly after a brief illness,'' or ''died of pneumonia'' or ``died of cancer'' as if that could be expected of a 32-year old in San Francisco.  By 1986 the stigma was gone, too many were dying and people began actively sending notices, it was the last record a friend or lover or companion would have to show they'd even been on the planet.  The B.A.R.  obits became a medium of communication among a community becoming devastated by the virus.

Every week now there would be a dozen or more entries filling most of two pages, showing men who made it to age 28 or age 36 or even into their 50s, where they worked, their passions and quirks, military service, names of loved ones, family, children, caregivers left behind.  So many that the paper ran a little request, ``Due to an unfortunately large number of obituaries, Bay Area Reporter has been forced to change its obituary policy.  We must now restrict obits to 200 words.  And please, no poetry.''

You'd see a person enter a bar in the early evening, grab a copy of the latest issue from the stack by the door and carry it to the rear, flip through till he found those pages and scan the names and photos before he'd fold it and join the others on barstools.  He had to do this before maybe having a little fun this one more week.

Once Gert did the same, looked over those two pages and said to the friend with her, ``I don't know anyone this week.''  The friend had already seen the paper and said, ``Keep going, this week there's a third page.''

1983

BARNARD SCOTT, BRAITSCH FREDERICK GEORGE III, CLAY PAUL CHATTY CATHY, FELDMAN MARK, GAMBLE DICK, GRESHAM JIM, HEACOX TIMOTHY J, MCGOWAN JIM BIG MAMA, OSTLUND JIM EMPEROR VI, RUSSO JOHN, SULLIVAN JIM

1984

ACKERMAN LEE HUNTALAS, ALEXANDER MICHAEL, ANDREWS CURTIS KENT, AUSTIN WILLIAM, BACHMANN RICHARD HAYES, BAKER DONALD GRAND DUKE IV, BALSIMO JOE, BARTON ANDREW FRENCH JR, BEACH LAWERENCE LA-LA WAITE, BELL ARTHUR, BERDELL JONATHAN, BLOCK STEVEN M, CAMPBELL BOBBI, CARAVALHO DAVID, COLLINS MICHAEL L, CONROY PATRICK D, COOPER BILL, DAGUE PAUL, DAUTH DENNIS CHARLES, DELAY THEODORE STUART TEDDY, DEMING BARBARA, DILILLO JAMES ANTHONY TONY, DUTCH PETER GIBSON, ERLAM-TAYLOR DOUGLAS, ERNST KENNETH J, ESTES ALLAN, FALCON RICHARD, FAULKNER MICHAEL WARREN, FELFE FLOYD F, FILEP ROBERT BO FOX, FREEMAN BILL, GAINES LARRY, GASSAWAY WILLLIAM S BILLY, GIBSON NORMAN HOOT, GIBSON PAUL, GOAD DAVID WAYNE, GRISANTI DON ALBERT, GROFF ROBERT, HAGOPIAN ROBERT, HARPER SHERIDAN, HUGHES MARK, JACOBI RICK RICHARD STEVEN, JONES JEFFREY ROBERT, JONES ROY, KAHN DAVID F, KINGSLEY SCOTT CHAPIN, LOBRAICO FRANK, LYON ROGER, MARROCCO STEPHEN P STEVE, MARROCCO STEPHEN P, MCCLURE JAMES H JR JIM, MCCRAW ROGER, MCDONALD DOUG, MCLEAN DONALD LORI SHANNON, MONTGOMERY MICHAEL, MOORE ERIC, MURPHY JIM, MURRAY JOSEPH E JR, NORTON DAVID, NOSEWORTHY ALLAN P, OATES TOM, PEARSON GERALD, PONYMAN JOHN KUHNER, RAMOS PHILIP EMPRESS PATTY PACKARD, REARDON J MICHAEL, RICCARDI JOHN, RICE RAYMOND OLIVER, ROGERS TOM, RYAN RIC SCHNOOKS, SELL JIM, SHERRILL RONN A, SHIELL MICHAEL CLINQUE COLONEL, SIMMONS JAMES DAVID JIMMY, SIMS JON, SPOTTS THOMAS R, STANLEY JOHN C, STEPHENSON DAVID ALBERT, SULLIVAN RUSSELL, THOMAS BOB, TOLER ANDREW, TUCKER CHARLES, VELARDE-MUNOZ FELIX, WALSH GARY, WEAVER LARRY, WEIS FRANK C JR, WEST JAMES, WILKER WICKER TOM, WILLIAMS JEFFREY SCOTTY, YOUNT DENNIS, ZAUTKE DICK ZELDA, ZYGIELBAUM JOE

1985

ABRAHAMS STEVE, ALLEN DALE M, ALLEN DAN-DULANEY, ARMBRUSTER DOUGLAS, ARVILLA ALBERT, AVEDON MICHAEL, BAKER WAYNE E, BALDWIN TIMOTHY DANIEL, BATEMAN PETER J, BAUER JEFF, BAUER THOM, BAUS DANIEL J, BEALE ROBERT BOB, BEST RON, BISHOP JOHN JOSEPH, BLAKE ARTHUR, BLOMQUIST STEVEN C, BOESZ THOMAS W, BONNEY HENRY SMITH JR, BONNEY WLLIAM, BRANNON JOHN D, BRASHEAUR MARY, BROWN BOB, BROWN MICHAEL G, BURGESS NATHANIEL WAYNE, BURKHART GERALD, BUTLER ROBERT D, CACCHIOTTI LOUIS, CALDWELL KERRY SCOTT, CAMPBELL DWAYNE E, CARRADO NICHOLAS NICK, CASSIDY MICHAEL, CASTILLO RICHARD, CASTRO PAUL, CICLINI MIKE, CLERICI DAVID JOHN, COHEN DAVID GEORGE, COHEN DAVID, COLEMAN TODD, COLLINS RICHARD L RICK, CONRAD FLORENCE, CONSTANCIO CHERE, CORNEL DAVID WILLIAM, COX MARTIN JAMES MARTY II, CROTEAU DENNIS JOHN, CROTEAU DENNIS, DALGLEISH BRIAN C, DAVIS MILTON SCOTT, DAWES MICHAEL GARY, DELAGUARDIA VALENTINO, DEVIETRO GARY, DIAMOND PAUL, DIETRICH EUGENE, DOLLARHIDE GARY, DONOVAN ROBERT J, DOYLE TOM, DUMALO NELSON, DUTCHER DAVID L, EDMONDS HARRY, EDWARD DALE, EICHSTAEDT AL, EISENBERG RICHARD MICHAEL, FELDT RANDY LEE, FLETCHER ARTHUR V, FLETCHER JOHN ARTHUR, FLINT PHILIP, FLOREST RAYMOND D, FLYNN RAYMOND, FRAWLEY MICHAEL, FREEZER W JAY, GARCIA RICHARD DUTCH, GARNER RONALD L, GENGLER JEROME JERRY, GERKEN ANTHONY E, GIUSTI JOSEPH JOEY, GLEN KENNETH JAMES, GOBLE DAVID P, GOOD JOHN FLO, GOODSTEIN DAVID, GREENE RON, GUERRA CARLOS, GUREL LARRY, HANEY DON, HANSEN ANDREW SCHWEITZER ANDY, HARJO GREG SHANE, HARMAN PAUL, HASEMEIER STEVEN A, HAULK DANIEL R, HAYES GARY, HENDRICKSON KENNETH B, HENRY CHUCK, HIBBERD FRED, HOGGE PAUL M, HOLSTEIN ROLAND, HOLT RANDALL, HOWARD STEPHEN W, HOWELL BOB ROBERT D, HUDSON ROCK, HURLEY BRUCE K, JAXCK RAY ALLEN, JOHANSSON RICK, JOHNSON MICHAEL, JOHNSON PAUL P, JONES LEWIS IRV, JOSEPH BOB BJ, KAHLER BILL, KINDER VERNON L, KING PETER, KINSEY PATRYK CLINT, KLEIN ANDY, KLEINFELTER DON, KNOEPFLER ROBERT FREDERICK BOB, KRAMEDAS TONY, LAMMERS RICHARD STEPHAN, LAVIN TYRONE, LEMLIN GILBERT, LEWIS ROBERT T, LINGWOOD BRENDAN BRENT, LOMBARDI GARY J, LONG LARRY ADOLPH, LUCIANO-MORALES ORLANDO, LUDWIG LARRY, LUNA ADOLFO, LUTHER RICHARD G DICK, MAHANEY GREG, MAHONEY RONALD, MANIERRE GEORGE M, MARCUS RONALD MARC, MARTIN ROBERT J BOB, MARTINEZ THEODORE TED, MASS GEOFFRY P, MAY GARY, MEYER KEITH W, MONTGOMERY DEAN, MOORE ED, MORRISON CLYDE EUGENE, MUSSER RICHARD L, NALL ROBERT BOB, NELSON RICHARD CRISTAL EMPRESS VI, NOVAK ROGER A, ORTIZ ARMANDO R ARO, OSBURN JOHNNIE GEORGE, OWENS JOHN IVOR, PARK RICHARD E, PARKEY DONALD ALLEN, PATTEE MARC, PEDDLE RICHARD WILLIAM, PELLICCIA RENE, PERRY JAMES G JIM, PHELPS ROBERT, POULIOT RONALD S, POWELL WILLIAM T JR BILL, RANA GUY, RAUCH KEVIN SHANE, RIDDLE RAYMOND D, RIDLEY DOUGLAS, ROBERTSON JOE, ROBERTSON JON M, ROCUS PAUL RICHARD, ROESENER RICHARD, ROGERS MARK D, ROMIG OSCAR H, RUSSELL JAMES R JIM, SALLEE THOMAS A TOM, SAUP TONY, SCHMALL JOE, SCHROYER LEE A JEWELRY, SCHULTZ JOHN JIMMY, SEBREE SAM COLE JR, SESTO JOSEPH JOEY, SHERIDAN JAMES, SHERNOFF HENRY, SHINN DAVID WESLEY JR, SHUCK RICHARD ALAN, SILKWORTH GEORGE, SIMMONS RANDY, SMITH BOB, SPROUL MICHAEL SEBASTIAN, STOWE JUSTIN ADA, SWARTZ JOSEPH, TANNER CHARLES LEE CHUCK, TAYLOR DANIEL S, TAYLOR RON, TEMPLETON DICK, TERRITO SAL, THIMMES MICHAEL, THOMAS GARSON, THOMASON-BERGNER JAMES, TIBBITS DAVID, TOUPINE MICHELE, TRUE MARK, TRUSSELL JOHN EDWARD, VALENTINO RICHARD A VAL, VENDRONE TROY THOMAS, VENN DAVID L, VERNER ROGER MEDA, VIDALI RAMON, VIEIRA RUSSELL G, WARREN H LYNN, WEINBERGER MICHAEL, WEISSBERG ARTHUR ARTE LEWIS, WHITE DAN, WHITE GARY, WHITE MELVIN, WHITE MILTON LANGLOIS, WIDMARK DALE, WILLS WILLIAM SCOTT, WOMBACHER PAUL ANDREW, WOOD MARK, WOODBURN RICK, WYCOFF DAVID R H, YIM MARC, ZALEWSKI THOMAS TOMMY, ZOOK MICHAEL SCOTT

1986

ABBOTT ROBERT H, ACKER DAVID, ADAM BERNARD PAUL, ALIZIO FRED, ALLEN BILLY, AMATO TOMMY, ANDERSON ALVIN, ANDERSON ERIC J, ANDERSON JOSEPH L, ANDREWS RICHARD ANDY, APPLEBAUM WALTER MARK, ARMENTROUT NORMAN LOUIS, ARMITAGE BRUCE, ARNETT D GUS, ARVIN VERN, ATKINS STEVE, AULIN JOSHWA E, AVELLA JOE, BABCOCK MICHAEL, BADURSKI JEROME C, BAGNALL ALBERT PETER, BANDY WAY, BANNISTER JOHN, BARRA ART, BARTLEY JON W, BARTON MARK ANDREW PETER, BATORI JOHN MICHAEL, BAUGHMAN JAY, BEAN EDWIN, BEARRENTINE MARK MURPHY, BECKER KENNETH ROGER, BECKHAM JOHN LEWIS, BEEBE GEORGE CLARK, BELK EARL, BENCK DAVID, BENNETT CHARLES CHUCK, BEREZIUK HOWARD WALLY, BERNARD GUY, BIERCHEN ELLIS, BIVENS W CARL JR, BLACKWOOD MICHAEL ALLEN, BOATE TOMMY THOMAS NEVIN III, BORDI RICHARD CHARLES, BOSTWICK JUSTIN PATRICK, BOURGEOIS TED, BRADY THOMAS H, BRANCO JOHN KI JR, BRIDGFORD JOHN F, BRINK WILLIAM, BRINSON JOHN, BROWN DOUGLAS C, BUBB BARRY A, BUCHANAN PATRICK JAMES, BUCK CHARLES H, BURCH HARLAN ROSS, BURNS JOHN F, BUSALACCHI SEBASTIAN C, CABRAL PAUL, CAIMI RICKY, CAIN STEVEN L, CAMERON KEN, CARTWRIGHT ROCCO V, CASTILLO JOHN PAUL, CAVARILLO GLENN, CHARLES RONN, CHARPENTIER BOB, CHASTAIN MARY MARGARET, CHLANDA CHRISTOPHER, CHOINIERE WILFRED SWEENEY, CLAFLIN RICK, CLARK JEFF, CLARK ROBERT W, CLEM RICKEY, COASH GERALD DUANE JERRY, COATES BILL, COLE JEFFREY LEE, COLE RICHARD, COLEMAN JOSEPH JOEY, CONNOLLY MARK, CORAL MAX, CRANDEL GEMINI-JIM, CROSSFIELD JOSEPH, CUDA GREG B, CURLEY JOE, CURRY JOEL, D'ANTUONO EMILIO, DADA PONI MON, DAEREC JOSEPH DENNIS, DALTERIO ROBERT M BOB, DAVENPORT LONNIE RAY, DAVIS DONN C, DAVIS GENE RAYMOND, DAVIS JAMES MICHAEL, DAVIS MIKE, DEBOIS JOHN, DEIK NELSON, DEJOSUE GABRIELLE GARY BENT JOSHUA, DELAURA ALPHONSE, DELRE STEVEN, DENNEY DONALD R, DEYOUNG DOUGLAS, DICKINSON DOUGLAS E, DIEKEMA MICHAEL ALLEN, DILLARD DAVID, DILLON ROBERT F, DILLS MARGARET BURKE, DOLAN JOHN SONNY, DOMEN MARK RICHARD, DOUGHTERTY BOB, DOUGLAS FRANK, DREW CHARLES FRANK, DRUMMOND NEIL, DUNAR JON M, DUQUETTE ROBERT JR, DURHAM CHARLES M, DURKIN ROBERT W, DUTRA GEORGE WILLIAM, DUTY JAYMES F JAY, ELIASSEN JOHN TURNER JR, ELLIOT SCOTT, EMERY HAROLD HAL, EPSTEIN ROBERT, ERICKSON RICK L, ERWIN GARY, FAIRBAIRN BRUCE ALLAN, FAULKNER LEE CLETE, FAULSTICH TODD BURTON, FELDMAN MARVIN, FELSON ARTHUR SCOTT MITCHELL, FERNALD STEVEN ROBERT, FLETCHER KEN, FLETCHER RONALD LEE, FLOWEERS MICHAEL G, FOLEY CHARLES P, FOLEY RONALD FRANCIS, FONTES WILIAM, FORREST EUGENE, FOUGHT VICTOR, FOURNIER JEAN A, FOWLER DONALD A, FOWLER PERRY LEE, FRANCHI FRANCESCO, FREDRICKS RICKIE LEE, FRIGO MICHAEL, FRITCH BOB KILOWAT, FROST RAY M JACK, FRY STEPHEN R, FUCHS MICHAEL, FULLER PHYLLIS, GALAS PHILIP-DIMITRI, GALBRAITH GERALD JAMES, GALICIA LOUIS M, GALLEGOS RONALD D RONNIE, GARD THOMAS L TOM, GARNETT GREG, GARZA XAVIER, GAYLORD BILLY, GENET JEAN, GEORGE HERMAN, GEORGE ROGER D, GETTMAN RICHARD H RICK, GIDLOW ELSA, GLENN RUSS, GLUSGAL ILJA, GOEKE WILLIAM JOHN, GOIN N CRITTENDEN, GOLDSTEIN MORTON ELLIS, GOMES STEVE, GOMEZ MICHAEL DAVID, GONZALES ANTHONY G, GRAHAM JAMIE, GRAJEDA JESS, GREEN DAVID DALE, GREENWOOD RAYMOND, GREGORY STEPHEN L STEVEN, GRENNAN JOHN L, GRIFFIN JAMES JOSEPH JOE, GUINS PHILLIP G, GUTHRIE BILL, GUTIERREZ JOSE RAUL, HALE ROBERT ALAN, HALSEY DEAN, HAMILTON-JOHNSON JAMES B JIM, HANEY ROLAND F BOB PUFF PUFF, HARRIS BRUCE CAMPBELL, HARRIS THOMAS C TOM, HART JAMES STUART, HASKELL ROBERT W, HAYGOOD JACK, HEDRICK EVERETT, HEDU JON JR, HEINEMANN LAWRENCE W LARRY, HENDERSON JAMES A JIMMY, HENDRICKS CHARLES MICHAEL CHUCKIE, HENKE JAMES PHILIP CARMEN MELVIN NATHAN LITTLE OWL, HERNANDEZ ANTONIO TONY, HERZOG WILLIAM WALTER BILL, HERZSTAM JON, HETER KENNY, HIGHSMITH JAMES JIM, HODDE DENNIS WAYNE DW, HOLLORAN JAMES F JR JIM, HOLST RAY, HORNCLIFF A JOHN, HORNER WILLIAM, HORNING DONN, HOSTETLER ROGER OLIVER, HOUSENENGA HARLAN JOE, HOWSE EDWIN LENNY, HOYT LARRY T, HULSOPPLE BENJAMIN JR, HUPE ROBERT A BOB, IMMEL ROBERT, INGRAM MARK ERIC, IRVINE JASON T, ISHERWOOD CHRISTOPHER, JACKS JERRY IRA, JACOBSEN ROBERT D BOB, JAMISON ARTHUR TIMOTHY, JASMINE PATSIE D, JENSEN ROBERT L, JETT LARRY G, JIMENEZ FORTINO JR, JOHNSON CORNELIUS NEIL, JOHNSON KEVIN, JOHNSON LARRY WALKER LAWRENCE, JOHNSON SCOTT, JOHNSON STEPHEN P STEVE, JONES DICK, JONES RICK, JORDAN DANIEL JOSEPH, JORDAN M D JR, JOSEPH TONY, JOY RALPH, JUNG DON, JUSTICE RICHARD S, KANE TIMOTHY EDWARD, KASNER FRED B, KELLEY JOHNATHAN, KELLY SEAN THOMAS, KENNEDY JACK, KEY GARY A, KIMES GARY D, KISSEL ROBERT BOBBIE, KOHLFELDT KENN, KOKOTT MARK ALYNN, KOZUB JOHN, KRATZ COLLIN B, KREAMER DAVID, KRUPP LEONARD STEVEN, KURTZ BERT, LAMARCA PAUL V, LAMBERT JAY, LANDSBERGER MARK, LANZARATTA PHILIP, LAPP RICHARD M, LAZZERI JASON JAMES JOSEPH, LEE TIMOTHY, LETAVEC STEPHEN DENNIS, LINDSEY PAUL, LINSKY GARY R, LITTLE ROBERT, LITZENBERGER JAMES ALBERT JIM, LOIGNON STEVEN, LONIEN GARY, LOPEZ ROBERT A, LOPRESTI GERALD GERRY ANTHONY, LOVELL RALPH, LOVORN CRAIG JOEL CURRY, LUIS DAVID, LUNA GUSTAVO, LUNDBERG CRIS MARTIN, LYNCH DAVID R, MACINTYRE NEIL, MADARIAGA JOE, MADREA FELIPE, MAGAN ROBERT K BOBBY, MAGDALENO LITTLE HANK, MAHLE BART E, MAJEWSKY BIG AL, MALONE MICHAEL, MANZI THOMAS-MARK TOM, MARKHAM LEE, MARKUNAS JAMES WALTER, MARTIN CLAYTON L, MARTIN DENNIS ROSS, MARTIN MICKEY T MICHAEL, MARTINEZ RENE, MASK ANTHONY DUANE TONY, MATTHEWS LEWAYNE, MATTIS BILL, MAULSBY DAVID LEE, MAUSER CRAIG, MAXFIELD STEVEN A, MAXWELL DARYL, MCCAFFREY JACK DUSTY, MCDONALD GARY MAC, MCGEARY RICHARD JAMES, METCALF MARK, MEYER ALLEN, MICHEL JUAN DIEGO, MICKLER JOHN JUSTINE, MILLER DALE R, MILLER MERLE, MILLS DON, MOLDOVAN DAVID, MOONERT GARY LYNN, MOORE ROBERT BOBBY FRANCIS, MORENO ARTHUR, MORGADO MIGUEL S, MORGAN LYNN LYLE, MORRIS CHARLES LEE CHUCK, MORRISON THOMAS M, MORT JACK, MOTT DAVID EDWARD, MUELLER JOHANNES GOTTFRIED, MUNOZ CIPRIANO CIPI, MURPHY JOHN, MURPHY ROBERT C BOB, NARLAND STEVEN C, NELSON BOB, NIEHAUS ALLEN HUGO, NOSS GARY, NOYA RAY, O'BRIEN MARK, O'CONNOR EDWARD J, O'CONNOR GORDON KEITH, OBERHOFER RICHARD, OBRIEN MARK, OCHTERBECK WILLIAM CLAYTON E, OLIVER PATRICK, OLSON JACK AUNT BLUE BELL, OMER TERRENCE, OURSO ROY JR, OWER RONALD, PAGE L CHRISTOPHER, PAINE ALAN F, PALLADINO MICHAEL PAUL, PASEK BILL, PATTERSON GRACE, PAYNE BOB, PAYNE WILLIAM LEE BILL, PEDERSON MICHAEL, PERRY STEVEN J, PETERMAN JOHN DAVID, PFAFFLIN R SCOTT TONY, PHILLIPS GARY, PIERCE MICHAEL C, PISHEL KAP, POOLE DAVID, POPE BILL, PORTER GLENN, POWERS JIMMY, POWERS MARK WILLIAM, PRAIN DAVID TEDDYBEAR, PRATT STEVEN W, PRICE BILLY, PUHR RICHARD J, RANDLES WILLIAM S BILL, RAPPAPORT DONALD SHERWOOD BUTCH, REED CECIL, REED KENNETH, RENOUD ALAN, RHONE GARY, ROBERTS CRAIG ALAN, ROBINSON JONATHAN F, ROCKWELL MATTHEW, ROLL KENT, ROSSMAN JOSEPH FRANCIS JOE, ROYBAL TONY, RUSSELL BRUCE, RYAN HUGH J, RYAN JOHN ROBERT, RYAN MARK MARQUITA, SALTMAN MARION, SANTILLI MICHAEL J, SARTORI PETER A, SARVER CLAYTON RANDALL RANDY, SAUNDERS GRAY, SAVERINO VINCENT P, SAWTELLE ALAN JOHN, SCHEARER MARK ROYDEN, SCHUETTE BRUD, SCHULTZ ROBERT C BOB, SCOTT VIRGIL F, SHARP DAN, SHEA JOHN JACK KARENANN L, SHELIEKES LAWRENCE J, SHORTELL THOMAS E TOM, SIGERS MARK, SILVA JAMES ALFRED JIM, SILVA SAM, SIMBULAN ANTHONY C TONY, SIMMERER PATRICK J, SIMON RUSSELL GENE CAJUN, SJOBERG JOHN, SKRIVANEK DAVID ERRON, SLICK JAMES E JIM, SLOGAN RANDOLPH ARTHUR, SMITH JACK V, SMITH JAMES C JIM, SMITH WARE R, SNETZINGER DON, SODERLING KURT PAUL, SOLOMON CHUCK, SOUCY MAURICE, SPAETH STAN, SPALDING WILLIAM ALBERT BILL, SPIGELMIRE DENNIS, SPURLOCK LESLIE, SPURLOCK MICHAEL W, STEINRUCK TOM, STEWART CHARLES A SANDY, STJOHN DONALD, STRATTMAN MARK, STRAUSS STANLEY C, SULLIVAN PETER F III, SUMMERS DAVID, SWARTZ LARRY WAYNE, SWINFORD BRUCE, SWINGER ROUGLAS CASSIDY R, TALBOT DAVID PHILIP, TARQUINIO FRANK S, THERRIEN ROLAND RON, THOMAS JAMES CLINTON, THOMPSON BOBBY, THOMPSON DAVID R, THOMPSON HARVEY ENGELBERT, TIMMONS TOM TT, TINNERMAN GREG, TONGE BRENT A, TORRE ARTURO, TORRES HENRY HANK K, TRAFTON CARROLL CAL, TRANTIFIL TONY ROSE, TUTTLE DOUG, TUTTLE JAMES JIM H, TUYNMAN BILL, UHLIR JOHN A, UNDERHILL JAMES BAIRD, UNDERWOOD LONNY, URQUIAGA STEVEN MARTIN, UYVARI ROBERT, VALENCIA ROBERT JR, VALENTINE TONY, VANCE UNCLE EARL, WADE ROBERT OLIVER, WADE ROGER, WAGENER GERD, WALLACE CORMAN, WALLEY CHESTER LEON, WALTERS JOHN, WEBB ARCHIE LOREN, WEBER STEPHEN, WEBER THOMAS E TOM, WELLING JOHN SNYDER, WHITE J SCOTT, WHITE ROBERT BOB, WHITMAN MARIAN DUNLAP JAMES ALBERT, WHITMER DENNIS LUKE, WILHELM ELMER, WILKES KEN, WILLENBACHER THOM, WILLIAMS GEORGE, WILSON GARY DEAN, WILSON KEITH B, WILSON KEITH H, WINCEY LAWRENCE T LARRY, WOOD JAMES GREGORY, WOODS RICHARD D, WRIGHT DOUGLAS, YOUNG JAY, YSEBAERT MICHAEL, ZARZECKI JOSEPH, ZIEGLER THOMAS ARNOLD TOM, ZOLL GEORGE KIT, ZYCH DAN

1987

ABLING MICHAEL, ADAMI AL, AGUILERA ALFREDO, ALBERTSON KENNETH W, ALCORN DANIEL DWIGHT, ALEX-5, ALEY ROCKY KENT, ALFORD TOM, AMES RUSSELL J, ANDERSON HUBERT, ANDREATTA LEON SHORTY, ANDREN JOEL S, ANDREOZZI JOHN ROCCO, ANDREWS JOHN LAIL, ANSTADT RONALD L, ARCHIBALD CLARENCE LEON, ARNOLD WILBUR GENE, ARTMAN ZOHN, ASCHINGER SANFORD, ASHFORD GEOFFREY, BABIN WAYNE LOUIS, BADY ABRAHAM T TY, BAKER DONALD, BALLARD CAL, BALLINGER DAVID L, BARBAY THOMAS G, BAXTER DANNY DANIEL, BECNEL JAMES M, BENEDETTI CLIFFORD LEE, BENEFIELD PHILLIP ROGER, BERRY H LOUIS, BIEBER FRIEDHELM, BIRCH TOBY, BIZZO ROBERT, BOONE LEE ROY, BOOZER MEL, BOWMAN CHARLES R, BOWMAN PAUL M, BRADSHAW RAY, BREMMER RALPH, BRESSAN ARTHUR J JR ARTIE, BREWER ART, BREWSTER JAY, BRIGGS EDWARD, BRODINE KAREN, BROOKS RICHARD, BROWER RICHARD ALLEN, BROWN BEN, BROWN TIMOTHY C, BUCHMANN STEPAN F, BUCKLEY ED, BUMGARNER JERRY, BUNTAIN GARY, BUTTERS TIMO, BUTTS KEITH W, CABELKA RONNIE R, CALDERA ROBERT, CALLAHAN JOHN, CALVIRD KIM, CAMPBELL JOHNNY, CANO GEORGE DANIEL, CAREW IOLO KYRE, CAREY RON, CARLSON CARL H, CARLSON RONALD T, CARNEY WILLIAM, CARTER JULIAN JAY, CARTER WILLIAM LARY, CASCONE DAVID, CASE RICHARD CASE, CASTILLO FRANK, CASTRO THOMAS C, CAVANAGH JAMES RICHARD, CERRETA JEFFREY M, CHINEN ROBERT A, CLARK STEPHEN MICHAEL, CLARKE RANDALL, CLOUSE WILLIAM C III, COCHRAN RICHARD S, COHEN FRED, COHEN RONALD LEE, COLLINS JOHN P, CONEY JAMES F JIMMY, CONNERS WILLIAM JOHN BILL, COWDRY ROBERT, COX JC JAMES, COX JOHN FREDERICK, CRIGER MILTON L, CULVER JOHN CALVIN, DAVIES TIMOTHY, DAVINI JAMES MICHAEL JIM, DAVISON EDWARD L EDDIE DUGAN, DEAL DENNIS WILLIAM, DEARING COLIN III, DEBOER RICHARD F, DEGRACIA JERRY, DELANEY L SCOTT, DELGADO FERNANDO, DELVENTHAL KENT M, DEROSIER ROBERT E BOBBY, DERWOYED JOSEPH JOE, DIEHL JAMES JIMMY JOE, DILLEHUNT HAROLD Q, DIVA BOB, DOERR THOMAS, DOLAN TERRY, DONOVAN CASEY, DOOLITTLE-SANDMIRE DEAN A, DOUGLAS DAVID ELLSWORTH SCOTTY, DUFF GERALD D, DUFFY PAUL L BUD, DUNBAR DENNIS J, DUNN LARRY, DUPONT RALPH, EASTMAN RICHARD N, EISENBEISER JOSEPH A, ELLIS ALAN DEAN, ESHNER D BRUCE, ESQUIBEO ROY, EVERDS JOE, EWINS EUGENE EARLE, FALCONER ALAN, FARRAR CARY DANE, FARREY ROBERT, FAULL TIM, FERNANDEZ JIM, FERRARA RONALD J, FIGLEY DOUGLAS, FIGUEROA JOHN D, FILOMENO ROBERT LAWRENCE BOBBY, FINCH MARKUS E, FINDEN MICHAEL C, FINGER HERB, FINOCHIO ANDREW DREW, FISH GEORGE, FITZGERALD EDWARD M, FLAHERTY ROBERT MICHAEL, FLEMMING BILL, FLONORY WYRANT, FLOYD DENNIS, FOOS LAIN M, FORD HENRY C, FORESTALL RANDALL A RANDY, FOX WOOD ROBERT PITCHER, FRANCO SALVADOR, FREYTAG PAUL, FROOKS JAMES F JIM, FULLER DAVID J, GADBOIS CLAUDE DAVID, GARBARINO STEPHANE JAMES, GARCIA RICHARD MICHAEL, GERDING MICHAEL A, GIDOS STEPHEN R, GIFFORD KENDRICK SHEPHERD, GILLIS DONALD C, GILMAN CHARLES, GINSBERG FRED J, GLAS DENIS, GLIED DARYL, GOWER MICHAEL, GRANT ALAN G, GRANT PAUL FRANCIS, GRAVES JAMES W JIM, GRAY STEPHEN BERNARD, GREEN TIMOTHY C LITTLE JIMMY, GREENBERG BRUCE H, GREENE WILLIAM LEYDEN, GREENIER A KENNETH, GREER DAVID JR, GROOM COLIN DAVID, GROOM COLIN D, GROSBERG DAVID, GUBSER PAUL RAYMOND, GUEL FELIX JOHNNY, GUENTHER BERNARD, GUERIN GREGORY J CHI CHI, GUTIERREZ JOE MIKE, HALE MICHAEL, HALL TOMMY, HAMPTON LEON ROSE EMPRESS OF PORTLAND, HANSEN DALE ALAN, HANSON JOHN D, HANSON MARK W, HANSON WALTER C, HARLEY CHARLES ESDORN CHARLEY, HARMON MATT, HARRIS EDDIE R, HARRISON LARRY D, HART TOM, HATHAWAY TEDD J, HAWKINS PETER, HEAD STEPHEN, HEARD GARY, HEATH THOMAS, HEIDLER GEORGE, HENNIG GARTH, HENNIGH RICHARD, HERMES MARK, HERNANDEZ FRANCISCO, HETRICK EMERY S, HIATT ANDREW, HILL ROBERT J BOB, HILTON ROBERT BOBBY, HINKLE CHARLIE, HOFFMAN FREDRIC LEE, HOGG PETER DEAN, HOHL TED, HOLCOMB JERRY, HOOGS THOMAS, HOOPER DAVID, HOPKINS ARTHUR, HORAN EDDY E, HOWARD DONALD, HOWELL PAUL KENNETH MONTANA, HOWKE DAN, HUDSON GALE A, HUGILL STANLEY C, HUMMEL DAVID, HUNT TOM, HUNTER ROBERT C BOB, HUNTSMAN RICHARD A, ICKES DENNIS K, ISHAM DALE BUZZ, JACKLIN PETER, JACKSON DAVID PAUL, JACOBS ELLIS B EBJ, JALBERT GEORGE CHENILLE CROW, JOHNSON GARY STEVEN, JOHNSON GERALD R JERRY, JOHNSON GUY E, JOLLY EDDIE EJ, JONES ALBERT E, JOSEPH LEE, KASEMAKER RUEBEN ROY, KAUFMAN PERRY, KAVULISH JACK, KAYNER DANIEL LAVERN DANNY, KEITH BRIAN, KIMBEL ROBIN J ROB, KINEE JAMES PATRICK, KOENIG ROBERT BOB, KOHN BARRY STANTON, KOLLENBORN GREG, KOLOSKI MARTIN G MARTY, KOMASA WILLIAM BILLY, KOPEK EUGENE JOHN, KOPP EDWARD BRAD, KRICKER JOHN JEFF, KRYSTAL JUDY GUCINSKI, KURTZ MIKE, LADISER SCOTT, LAFOLLETTE WARREN JR CONNIE CADAVER, LAGASSE LARRY LAWRENCE L PIERRE, LAMBERTA MICHAEL J, LAMOUREUX GARY, LAMPYS RICHARD C, LANDRY NORMAN J, LANE WILLIAM R, LANGSNER MARK, LARSHEID ROBERT BOBBY, LARSON BRUCE F, LATHAM JACK PURDOM NICK, LAURIANO DENNIS MICHAEL, LAWSON TODD S J, LEE JERROL DON, LEITHEAD REX REXANN, LEMEK TED M, LEMIN TOM, LEMKE DONALD EARL, LESTER CALU, LIBERACE LEE, LINKER JAY, LOMONICO NEAL, LONG JONATHAN C, LOUGHRAN RICHARD JOHN JR, LOVEDAY MARTYN WILLIAM, LOWENTHAL BILLY, LOWSON JOHN MITCHELL MIKE, LUJAN DAVID TIMOTHY, LUSTIG GLEN, LYNCH DAVID MARTIN, MACKEY ROBERT N, MAGINNIS MICHAEL RENE, MAGUIGAN THOMAS ANTHONY TOM JOHN, MALDONADO JESSE ANTHONY, MALONEY VERNON S, MANN ROBERT E, MARIOTTI ROBERT A, MARRS MARLIN D, MARTIN ADALBERTO G, MARTIN GERALD S, MARTIN MICHAEL, MARTIN RICHARD C, MARTINEZ GILBERT GILFRIEND, MARTINEZ STEVE, MASON JOSHUA, MATHIESON DAVID G, MAYBERRY EDWARD, MAYFIELD MARK ALLEN, MCBRIDE JERRY, MCDOWELL BILL NINA, MCDOWELL MICHAEL, MCGHAN DAVID, MCKINNON MICHAEL E MIKE SUNFLOWER MIKEYBEAR, MCLAUGHLIN JOHN MAC JAMES, MCLEOD WILLIAM M BILLY, MCMANIS DAVID, MCMARDLE THOMAS KHAMBA TOM, MERCIER GLEN, MERLE GARY WILLIAM, MERYHEW RON, METH ROD, METTLER ROBERT BOB, MEYER DON SHIRLEE, MIDDLEBROOK JOHN S, MIELKE WAYNE, MIKELSON TIMOTHY R, MILLER GLENN LEE, MINCEY JAMES F JR JIM, MITCHELL DENNIS M, MITCHELL GREGORY A, MITCHELL KENT T, MOGNIS ROBERT M BOB, MONTELEONE NICHOLAS A, MOORE KENNY, MOORE LEE, MORTON GUY MAX DREW RYERSON, MOUNT DAVID LUKE, MUNSON PAUL, MURDOCK KEITH, MURPHY MICHAEL, MURRAY JOHN, MURRAY MARVIN C, MUSGRAVE CHARLES R BOB, MYERS DIRK SANFORD, NAHOUM NICHOLAS ANTOINE NICK, NELSON DOUGLAS, NELSON GARY M, NELSON PETER CHARLES, NEWMAN MATTHEW E, NOVA JAY, O'BRIEN VINCENT, O'CONNOR MICHAEL R, O'CONNOR MICHAEL, O'LEARY JIMMY, O'NEIL SEAN, O'NEILL TOBY R, OCHAMPAUGH CLIFFORD, OLANO MAURO A MARIO CHEMIST, OSTERDOCK KENNETH STEPHAN, OSTRICK ROBERT BOB DIVA, OUELLETTE MAURICE, PALMER MICHAEL R MIKEY, PAMBID RODOLFO BOB, PARKER GERRY, PARSONS ROBERT A, PASKO DAVID, PASQUALE JOHN J, PATTERSON ROBERT D BOB, PAUL NOLAN C, PAYNE JOHN WESLEY, PECK CHARLES A CHARLIE, PEREZ ENRIQUE, PETERS CHARLES J III CHUCK, PETERS JAMES D JIM, PETERSON GENE HAMPTON, PETUYA JOHN D, PHELAN PATRICK J, POLITZER STEPHEN B, POLKA THOMAS FREDERICK, POLLARD DEMETRIUS, POTENZA PATRICK THOMAS, PRICE JOHN, PROCTOR KENNETH BRUCE, PURNELL KENN, QUINN JOHN PATRICK JACK PATRICE, QUINN WAYNE DOUGLAS, RADABAUGH DENNIS, RAPSTAD ALLAN FRANCIS, REED KEVIN DOUGLAS, REED PATRICK J, REEVES O ERIK, REIFF PHILLIP R, REILE HAROLD R, REYES EDWARD JOHN JAMAL, REYNOLDS BOBBY, REYNOLDS THOMAS ARTHUR TOMMY, ROBERTS MICHAEL, ROBERTS STANLEY L, ROCKWAY ALAN, RODRIGUEZ MIGUEL, ROSE ETHLYN L LYNN, ROSENDO RON, ROSS TERRANCE A TERRY, ROSSER JOHN STEVENS, ROTH GILBERT F, ROTHMAN JERROLD W, RUSSELL LARRY, SANCHEZ ASEL J, SCAGGS JERALD WENDY, SCHLENKER VERNON A JR, SCHLIE RICHARD G RICK, SCHNEIDER EUNICE B, SCHOONMAKER FREDRICK, SCHROEDER JAMES O JIMMY, SCOGGINS DAVID L, SCOTT ROBERT L SCOTTY, SEEGER GARY L, SELFRIDGE MARK S, SELSBY FRANK R, SERRELS RYAN D, SHAFFER LAWRENCE C LARRY, SHAPIRO ALLEN J AJAY, SHAW HAROLD R, SHEPARDSON WILLIAM H BILL, SHEPPARD REX, SHUTWELL KEN, SICKLER DENNIS, SINCLAIR CHARLES ROSE FOXY, SITLINGTON MARK L, SMITH EUGENE R, SMITH PHILIP J, SMITH RICHARD ALAN, SMITH TOM M, SMITH TOM THOMAS MICHAEL, SMITH WAYNE F, SNYDER BILL, SOKOLOWSKY DAVID GLEN, SOLLEY WILLIAM BILLY, SORENSEN CHRISTOPHER NORMAN, SOUZA RICARDO ANTHONY, SPOONER JERRY LEE, STAKE RONALD K RONNIE, STAUFFER THOMAS B TOM, STDENIS JOHN, STEPHENS DAVID E, STERLING MARC MARVIN MAVIS, STEWART KARL, STOCKS RICHARD L DICK, STUTZMAN KURT RICHARD, SULLIVAN ALLEN CLARK, SULLIVAN HOWARD P, SUTTON DAVID DIANE, TATRO CLYDE JOANIE, TATUM ROBERT L, THAYER CHARLES A CHUCK, THIEL DONALD R, THOMAS JAMES S JIMMY, THUESEN CONSUELO CONNIE, TORREZ CIPRIANO E, TORRISE ANTHONY JR TONY, TOWNSEND JACK, TREWEEK BOB ROBERT, TROESTER KURT, TROWBRIDGE JOHN, TRUELOVE RICHARD, TRUJILLO ALFREDO S COWBOY, TURNER PHILIP ALAN, TWIGG JOHN M, TYLER DENNIS TOBY, UNDERWOOD STEPHEN, UTTER GORDON JAMES JIM, VESELY JOSEPH VINCENT JOE, VIGIL JOSEPH JOE DADDY, VINEYARD JAMES D JIM, WADDELL TOM, WAKEFIELD SHAWN, WALL JAC, WALLACE ROBERT BOB, WARD ROBERT BOB, WARMACK KENNETH D, WATERS REESE RIRI, WATKINS EUGENE V JR DEB, WATSON DAVID L, WATSON MICHAEL DEAN, WATSON WILLIAM PERRY, WEBER MARTIN, WEDDELL STEPHAN, WHITCOMB WAYNE W, WHITE GARY LEE, WHITESIDE WILLIAM HOLT, WILL HANK, WILLIAMS DARRELL, WILLIAMS DAVID LEE, WILLIAMS GLENN, WILLIAMS JOE, WINTERHALTER DAVID DAVE, WIRTALA JOHN MATTHEW, WOOD JAY C WOODY, WOODRUFF NORMAN E, WOOLDRIDGE MICHAEL R MIKE, WORLEY DARRELL C, WRIGHT JON JOHNATHAN, XERO MARTIN KENNETH E ALLISON, YARGER NEAL A, ZEILINGER ROBERT, ZIMMERMAN PETER A, ZINZER ANTHONY TONY, ZOUTTE EDWARD BUSTER

1988

ACOSTA MANUEL, ADAMS CHARLES FRANCIS, AHCIN ALAN JOHN, ALDRICH TED, ALESSIO CARMEN P, ALMAZAN CLARENCE RICHARD DICK, ALTIERI THOMAS J, AMITUANAI LEO, ANDELSON SHELDON W, ANDERSON CRAIG K, ANDERSON JON, ANDERSON ROBBIE MARIE, ANDREETTA DICK, ANTONINO MICHAEL, ARCELONA ROBERTO, ARCHAMBAULT GUY GABY, ARMSTRONG DUKE, ARNETT CHUCK, ATKINS JOSEPH, AUERBACH STEPHEN M, AYLING TOMMY, AZOON VICTOR C, BACHUS DARRELL, BACKSTROM DAVID, BAKER KENNETH RAY, BALDERSON TODD, BALDWIN DONALD ALLEN, BALDWIN JAMES MAXWELL, BALZOUMAN RENE JAN, BANDY JOHN HERSCHEL, BARANYI ROBERT STEPHEN, BARBER BRUCE ALAN, BARLEY JIM, BARNHOUSE GARY L, BARRETT WALTER LEWIS, BASSETT PAUL ROGER, BAXTER LEWIS LEW R, BECKMANN FRED, BEENKEN DENNIS E, BELL GARY, BENSE CHRIS, BERLIN MORT, BERZOK RICHARD S, BINDER DONALD FRANCIS, BIRDSLEY MICHAEL S, BISHOP KEITH, BODINE GARY B, BOEHNKE RICHARD A, BORGEN DONALD, BOSCH NIKOLAS A, BOUTIN JONAHAN POWERS, BOWER MICHAEL, BOYLE EDWARD J, BOYLE RANDY, BRADFORD JAMES HOWE, BRADLEY DANIEL BRUCE, BRADLEY DAN, BRECHT BRIAN LEE, BRONKHURST JOSEF, BROWN GARTH A JR, BROWN JEFFREY THOMAS, BROWN JOHN K, BROWN KENT B, BROWN TOMMY GENE SHIRLEY, BROWN WILLIAM BILL, BROWN WILLIAM F BOB, BULLARD BENJAMIN GAINES, BUONACORE JOHN, BURDICK KEITH JAMES, BURKE TIMOTHY RYAN BUNNY, BURKS DONALD ANTHONY THOMPSON, BURNHAM ROBERT S, CABRAL JOSEPH M, CARPENTER KEN, CARTER DOUGLAS L, CASS LYNN B, CATES SANFORD EUGENE, CAVAZOS RICHARD W, CHAPMAN MCKINLEY MAC, CHAPOT STEPHEN MICHAEL, CHOW DAVID, CHRISTOPHER, CLARK JIM LLOYD, CLICK MICHAEL WILLIAM, CLIFTON PATRICK T, COCHRAN SCOTT, COCKERLINE JONATHAN EVERETT, COGLIANESE ROBERT L BOB, COHEN KENNETH I, COLANDREA CARL, COLLY PETER, COREY JOHN G, CORRALES JOSE EARNESTINE, CORREA JOSEPH, COSTANZA VINCENT F, COUNTS CLIFFORD WAYNE, COUNTS THOMAS JEROME, COX ARTHUR LEE, COX DAVID, CRACIOLA JOHN ANTHONY, CRAIN DON, CREELMAN MICHAEL, CRIOLLOS STAN, CURRY JOE ROGER, CUTLER A RICHARD, D'ALLESANDRO SAM, DAHL MICHAEL, DARBY STANLEY, DAVENPORT ROBERT E, DAVIS CARROLL, DAVIS DEAN, DAYTON JEFFRY, DELANEY C MARK, DELEON RENATO AQUINO, DELIO RON, DELPOZZO EDWARD N, DEMARCO FELIX JR, DENNETT DARYL C, DENUCCE PAUL ANTHONY, DEUTSCH STARR, DEVER DENNIS BRENDON, DEVERY WILLIAM H BILL, DEVINE DENNIS ELLIOTT, DEWOLFE MARK, DINGO DONALD ROBERT, DOMBROWSKI TOM, DONELLA LARRY, DONOGHUE MICHAEL EDWARD, DOUGAL BETTY JEAN, DRU JASON, DRURY THOMAS M, DUBOIS RICK, DUGGAN STEPHEN MICHAEL, DUNN TRACEE, DURAN PAUL JR, DUVAL VAL, DVORSKY DAVID, DYKSTRA RONALD C, EATON JOSEPH, EDWARDS RICHARD N, EIDE RONALD J, EISBERG MEREDITH, ESPOSITO PETER PAUL, ESSEX JACK, FABRO KENNETH, FARRIS MARK A, FASANO MICHAEL, FASULO CHARLES E TONY, FAULKNER CHRISTOPHER, FERGUSON WILLIAM J, FERNANDEZ JOSE LUIS, FERRO ROBERT, FIANTAGO GLEN PETER, FIGGINS DANIEL, FLOWERS WAYLAND, FORD SCOTT A, FRAZIER ANTHONY TONY, FREEMAN HAL M, FRENCH DAVID, FREY DOUGLASS SCOTT, FRIBERG JOHN W, FRIEDLIN WILLIAM ROBERT BILL, FRITZ WALTER R BABA WAWA, GALE DENNIS C, GARCIA MARC ANTHONY, GARNER CHARLES W, GARRETT DAVID JACKSON, GARVIN PATRICK J, GELL NICK, GEORGE JEREMY ALAN, GEORGE PERRY ANTHONY, GERHARD STEVEN L, GIBSON RICHARD RICK, GILLESPIE PAUL, GIZA GARY JOSEPH MARK, GLYNN TOM, GOILLOT JEAN-CLAUDE SEBASTIAN, GOLDEN DOUGLAS BRYAN, GOMEZ GEORGE ANDREW, GONZALES JOHN EDWARD, GOODWIN JOHN M, GORMAN WILLIAM THOMAS, GRAVES RODNEY, GROTE PETER, GUIDO PAOLO, GUNN WILLIAM BILL, GUSSETT JAMES R JIM, GUTHRIE ERIC ALLEN GUITAR, GWINN DUNCAN, HAAS RICHARD JR, HAINE JAY JAMES M, HALL DAVID R, HAMMOND CARL L, HAND HARVEY DOUGLASS, HANEY DENNIS LOREN, HANSEN HENNING, HARNOIS BOB, HARRIS STEVE, HART MALCOM SEAN, HATCH ANTHONY S, HAYNES JOHN WILLIAM JR, HAYS STEVEN G, HEATH DONALD, HEBRON HERBERT, HEEFNER JEFFREY K, HEINZ MARTIN, HEISCH EDWARD C, HENDERSON DON DONNA MAE, HENRY BRENT, HERLIN JOHN K, HERNANSEZ ANGEL, HERRALA DAVID MICHAEL, HILL MARTIN EDWARD MARTY, HIRANO MARK DOUGLAS, HIRSCH PETER LEANDER, HO JERRY, HOELSCHER WILLIAM L BILL, HOEY JEFF, HORNEMANN DAVE DAVID, HORNSBY JAMES BYRON JIM, HOROWITZ LEW, HORSTING PETER J, HORTON WILLIAM K BILLY, HOUGH LARRY DEIDRE, HOWARD DUMONT, HOWELL SCOTT ERNEST, HRLIC DENNIS LEON, HUMPHREYS LAUD, HUNT LARRY DEAN, HUNTER ROBERT N, HURD WALTER B, HYER JOHN, IVEY EDWARD LEON EDDIE, JACKSON DANIEL NICHOLAS MOMO, JAMES JONATHAN, JARAMILLO JOHN PAUL, JEANSONNE DANIEL A, JETTER RICHARD, JOHNSON DOUGLAS MARTIN, JOHNSON FRED, JOHNSON JERRY BOUVIER CANAAN, JONES TIMOTHY JAMES, JOPLIN MARKALAN, JORDAN CHARLES R CHARLIE, JORDAN DALE KNIGHT, JORDAN GLENN S, JORGENSON ROBERT, JOYCE PHILIP STEPHEN, JURISTO KATHY, KAFKALIS NIKOS, KAHN CLIVE, KAMINSKY BERENS KIMBERLEY REID, KEENER DARRELL GLENN JASON, KIMBALL KIRK, KING CHARLES E, KING JAY A, KISSINGER JOHN, KLASSEN DENNIS JAMES II, KLEINOW JOSEPH H JOE, KOSLOW RONALD LEE, KRUPP EDWARD J, KUKIELKA JOHN, LAKOSE PHILLIP R, LAMB RONALD DALE, LANDOLFI JOSEPH F, LANGFORD STEVEN ROBERT, LARSEN SCOTT W, LAZIER JERRY ALLEN, LAZIER JERRY, LEE TIMOTHY G, LEETZOW KEN R, LEVENS TIMOTHY, LEWALLEN ANDREW, LEWIS MICHAEL J, LEWIS STEPHEN W STEVE, LIEBERMAN RICHARD ALAN RICK, LIND CARL, LINDGREN JOHN, LINOTTI EDWARD L, LOMAS RANDY, LONG THOMAS ROBERT, LOUIS CRAIG STEPHEN, LOZA JOEY A, LUM ARTHUR KAMEKONA, LUNSFORD JOHN DANIEL, MACKENTHUN RONALD L, MAHLER THOMAS G TOM, MANANARES HENRY, MANCE JACK E, MANLEY JOHN DANIEL, MARAIS RAYMOND E, MARCO STEVEN F, MARCUM DAVID, MARRERO LARRY A TITO, MARSHALL KURT RIDEOUT JAMES ALLEN JR, MARTIN RICHARD ZIM, MASSON GUY M, MATLOVICH LEONARD, MAY DENNIS R, MCCARTHY ROBERT BOBBY, MCCLENAHAN TERRENCE CHARLES TERRY, MCDONALD ROBERT EUGENE, MCKENNEY KENNETH S, MCMAHON GEORGE P, MCMULLAN JOHN LESLIE, MCPHAIL ROBERT GERALD BOB, MEIKLEJOHN ROGER W, MELTZER ANDREW ANDY, MENAGLIA JOHN, MENJIVAR CARLOS MAURICIO, MERRICK GORDON, MERRIMAN JOHN JAY, MEYER WILLIAM BADEN BILL, MEYERS DAVID, MICHAEL BERNARD, MICKLER ERNEST MATTHEW ERNIE, MILLER DUANE R, MILLER MARTIN JOSEPH, MILLER SCOTT JAY, MILLETTE CHRISTOPHER I, MILTON STEVEN DEE, MINIX MARK JAMES, MISSO KENNY, MITCHELL ROY, MOCK JAMES E JIM, MOLINA MARC, MOLINAR DAMAS TOM JR, MONAGHAN GREG, MONAGO MICHAEL JOSEPH, MONK RONALD RICHARD, MONTORO DANNY, MOODY ROBERT W JR BOB, MOON DENNIS EDWARD, MOORE DARYL S, MOORE RICHARD VERLON, MORDINE MERV MERWIN, MORRIS GLENN H, MORRISON STEVEN, MOTTERSHAW WILLIAM CURTIS BILLY, MOWER MAX, MUCCIO JOHN ALFRED, MUNKERS CHRIS, MUNN JOHN STEWART, MUNOZ OSCAR R, MURRAY PAUL JAMES, NADEL WILLIAM, NAMETH MICHAEL EMPRESS JANE DOE XII, NEADER TIM, NEAIL SCOTTY E, NEAL CHRIS, NEE GERALD B LA JERRY, NELSON CAREY ROBERT, NELSON RICHARD LEE, NESZERY DAVID EARL BEAR, NIEDERMEIER ANDREAS ANDY, NIKSICH GARY STEVEN MR GARI, NIXON TOBY RAY JOHNNY, NOELL HUGH RICHARD, NOLAN MARVIN MR DOLLY, NOONAN MOM, NORRIS STEPHEN WADE, O'DELL RICHARD GILBERT, O'NEAL JOHN MICHAEL MICKEY, OLDHAM HAROLD RICHARD, ORDONEZ RICHARD DAVID RICK, ORESIK LARRY WAYNE, ORTIZ LESLIE PAUL, OSBORNE ROBERT DEAN, OYER STEVEN L, PACE TOMMY, PALMER GLEN ROY, PARHAM MICHAEL ANTHONY, PARIS JOHN, PARNANEN DAVID A, PASSADORE TIMOTHY J, PAULSEN BOB PUSSY, PAXTON GEORGE RAYMOND, PAYNE KENNETH W, PAYTON RONALD OTTO, PELLIGRINI GENE, PENTICO JAMES TOMMY, PEREZ DANNY, PERGER STEPHEN GREGORY STEVE, PERRY CHRISTIAN JAMES, PETER, PETRONE KEITH FRANCIS, PHELPS LARRY BABY NORA, PIKE JAMES JIM, PLACENCIO DONALD, PLATT JAY, PLEICKHARDT KENNETH G, PLOTZ DAVID F, POLLOCK KEN, PORTER GIG, PORTER OWEN, PROCESS DENNIS LEE, PUCKETT SAM B, PUDDU JOE, PULIAFITO FRED, PURSELL DAVID FRANK, QUINONEZ THOMAS, RAMER GRANT A, RAY CLIFFORD JEROME LARK JANAY STONE, REA MICHAEL, REISER RANDAL K, REISWIG JEFFREY J SADIE, REYES-SMITH JOHN LB, REYNOLDS BRUCE L, RICHARDSON REYNOLD H, RICHMOND ANTHONY C TONY, RIDGEWAY GRANT E, RINEER RONALD L, ROBERTS DAMIAN JEFFREY, ROBERTS DICK, ROBISON DANIEL L, RODRIGUEZ A J SKIP, ROMERO RICHARD LEE, ROSCHER MARTIN, ROSENBAUM CHARLIE, ROY PHILIPPE, RUBENHALL JEFFREY, RUGGEVIK JENS MATEAS, RUGGIERO RICHARD, RUHLMAN DAVID PAUL, RUIZ DAVID ALLEN, RUSSELL BOB BOBBY, RUSSELL GENE, SABATELLI C DAVID, SADOWINSKI JOSEPH MICHAEL, SANCHEZ JOHN J, SANTIAGO LEONARD SKIPPY, SANTOYO RICHARD, SAVOIE KEN J JIM MOORE, SCAVARDA LOUIS, SCHARDING STEPHEN, SCHEINGARTEN STEVEN B, SCHMIDT JERRY, SCHNEIDER ROBERT E ROBBIE, SCHOTT JOHN ALBERT J JR, SCHWARZ MARTY PLANET, SCHWARZE WILLIAM KARL BILL, SCIERA JEFF, SELCOW BURTON M SCOTT, SHANNON JEFFREY RICHARD, SHAPIRO ROY, SHARPLESS JACK, SHEEHEY TIMOTHY JAMES, SHERMAN ORI, SIEGLAR PETER, SILCOCK DARWIN, SIMMS JACK, SINGER CHARLES TAD, SMITH DAVID E, SMITH DAVID GRANT, SMITH DONALD ALAN, SMITH GREG LEE, SMITH LEONARD MARVIN, SMITH LYNN M, SON WILLIAM BILL, SORRELL PAUL JOSEPH SPEITH, SOUZA PATRICK JAMES JIM POOKIE, SPANGLER WAYNE CLOWN SABLE EMPRESS XXI, SPECHT JOHN THOMAS TOM, SPITLER WILLIAM HEENEY BILL, STANZIONE MICHAEL JR MIKE, STARK EDWIN L, STARK ED, STARLIPER GARY, STARR MARK E, STENSON DOUG GUGGIE, STEVENS NICHOLAS NICK, STEWART BARRY, STOCKMAN G ROBERT BOB, STOKER JIMMY G, STONE DALLAS LYNN, STONE GREGORY, STONE JOHN H, STONER JEFFREY SCOT, STORCAMP MYLES BRUCE, STOW MARTIN FORREST, STRATTON RUSSELL W, STURDEVANT PHILIP EUGENE JR, SULLIVAN LEN, SWANSON JEFF, SWENSON RONALD ALLEN, SYLVESTER, SZWED WAYNE STANLEY, TAYLOR LANCE, TERRY RICKIE DALE, TEXTOR LARRY G, THEODORAKIS C DEAN, THOMPSON KIRBY LAVOY, THRASHER BILL WILLIAM CHASE, TODD BRYON R, TOTH ARTHUR, TOZZEO LAURENCE LARRY, TRANTHAM DOUGLAS H, TRINCHERO ROBERT ANDREA, TROJANSKI JOHN, TRUAX A BRAD, TRUJILLO ROBERT H BOBBY, TUBBS JAMES JIMMY, TUCCIARELLI BIAGGIO A, TURNER ROBERT BOB, UNDERWOOD ARLOFF V WOODY, URIARTE ROBERTO, URIBE JAN ELDSON, VANARSDALEN WILLIAM BILL, VERKADE RICHARD DICK, VERWHOLT WILLIAM R BUZ, VITALE ROBERT BOBBY, VOLENTIR STEPHEN PAUL, VOLLAN RICHARD E RICK, VONDEPPEN WALT ARLINGTON, VONDIECKOFF HENRY BARONESS EUGENIA, VOWELS CHARLES RICHARD RICKY, WACHSNICHT DAVID WAYNE D W, WALKUP RENARD, WALL STEPHEN A, WALTZ CHUCK, WARD MARK, WARF ANTHONY TONY LEONARDO, WASSON ROBERT L FAT FAIRY, WATSON ANDRE A, WELCH FREDERICK EUGENE, WELDON JESSE THOMAS, WHITE DAN, WHITE O GAVIN, WHITE RUSSELL MADISON JR, WILLIAMS CLIFFORD, WILLIAMSON EARL CHARLES, WILSON BARRY R DAVID, WILSON FREDERICK A FREDRICK, WILSON ROBERT N BOBBY, WINSATT E MICHAEL, WINTERNITZ JOHN DAVID, WOLF MICHAEL FRED, WOLFE MICHAEL EDWARD, WOOD BILL THE KLUTZ, WOOD JOHN GILBERT, WORTHINGTON JOHN V, WRIGHT GLENN ALLEN ERIC, YOUNG DENNIS, YOUNG HOWARD, ZEFF ELLIOTT DANIEL DANNY, ZELMO-HERMAN KIT, ZEMKE WILLIAM WILLI, ZIMMERMANN PAUL C, ZORBAS JOHN, ZUBEE JOHN SKIP

_____________________________________

A new kind of shop window display began showing up in the Castro, the first held photos of KS lesions that Star Pharmacy put up so people could identify the so-called 'gay cancer' as they examined themselves, then Cliff's Variety had a window completely empty except for a single framed photo of an employee everyone in the community had known.  You'd see people stopped outside clothing stores and card shops and antique stores in the neighborhood staring at the photos.  The clone gays had expended so much time and energy developing the svelte smooth muscled look that T-shirts with tight jeans were a daytime clothing staple, sayings like ``I Can't Even Think  Straight'' or ``Nobody Knows I'm Gay'' or the ever popular ``So Many Gerbils So Little Time.''  Soon this insouciance had all but disappeared as the reality of the epidemic's full measure set in and you'd see another T-shirt, the forlorn hope, ``I Only Want Two Things:  A Cure and All My Friends Back.''

_____________________________________

Pynchon again:

.  .  .  last word from Blicero: ``The edge of evening . . . the long curve of people all wishing on the first star . . . .  Always remember those men and women along the thousands of miles of land and sea.  The true moment of shadow is the moment in which you see the point of light in the sky.  The single point, and the Shadow that has just gathered you in its sweep . . . ''

Always remember.

October, 1988

___________________________________________________________

gert

I

n April, 1988 the night before she was to leave on the four month tour Dan phoned to verify that she would be home, he had a going away gift.  She told him sure, she'd be packing all evening so come over any time.

Dan arrived holding a gift-wrapped package a bit larger than a phone book.  It was very heavy and inside was a single volume from 1930s encyclopedia, almost four inches thick, bound in maroon leather.  Embossed gilt type showed it covered subjects beginning with the letter M, everything from Maasin to Mzabites.  On the cover page he had enscribed a message, ``Dear Cindy, there's nothing better than a good book to relax you after a long day on the road,'' and beneath that wrote, ``You might look especially under the section 'Measures and Weights.'  ''

Dan had always known her as Cindy unaware that during the past months in the workshop she had taken on a new name and that by the time she returned from tour would barely respond to Cindy.  He sat in the living room, a mischievous grin like a little kid who's hidden a Whoopee cushion as he watched her open the book.

A

year before she had worked at a Macy's fragrance counter on the first floor near the escalators.  It wasn't the type of job she'd ever planned on doing but in 1980 there was a lull in the small theater shows she had worked with and an old coworker told her of an opening in the ticket office of the Union Square store.  Macy's rented out space to private services, an optometrist, cookie bakery, and in this case a ticket vendor.  Customers could use their Macy's card for sports events, music concerts and of course theater shows.  At that time she just assumed this job would be temporary, that new shows at the Alcazar and Little Fox and Hippodrome would open soon, little knowing that local theater would be one more casualty of the still unseen epidemic.  After a few weeks she brought in one of the forms used at her theaters and showed it to the boss when he made his daily breeze through, crowding the space already cramped with two employees.  She demonstrated how it gave a better accounting of the various discounts and promos that made keeping track of multiple simultaneous events a nightmare.

He watched over her shoulder listening until she finished, then thanked her for showing initiative and said that might've worked for those small houses but this wasn't amateur hour here, ``I deal with major promoters at stadium size venues all over the Bay Area and we'll just keep doing it my way.''  Thanks but no thanks.

After he left she muttered, ``This is why I worked in those little amateur theaters, no fucking bureaucracy.''

A few days later she was called down to a Personnel office, a union rep and a store manager and her boss were there, the boss saying he wanted her fired and he didn't want anyone else with previous experience to be hired.  The meeting was mostly legal formality, she told her story and it was noted.  To work in the store you had to be union so she couldn't be fired and instead was transferred to a cosmetics and fragrance counter on the main floor near the elevators, a job where few lasted very long.  But she found two gay coworkers, Edward and Gerard, who shared an enthusiasm for casual insubordination and soon they had rearranged things so that they all were working together in the same area.

Shift schedules and break schedules got organized to give the trio maximum overlap, thus they could run up the street to Bardelli's on mid-afternoon break when the restaurant was quiet and the sun lit the gorgeous stained-glass peacock over the little entrance-way.  The owner's son worked the bar and she finally had to tell him not to put so much vodka in her drink, words she never thought she'd hear from her mouth.  They'd come back into Macy's through the employee entrance, squeezing by security seated at the large bank of black-and-white monitors that covered the store, silent customers seen at odd angles from above, moving out of the bottom of the picture and entering on an adjacent screen from the right.  The guys would glance over and shake their heads.

A month or so after she was moved downstairs, when the ticket service operator disappeared with hundreds of thousands of dollars he hadn't paid those major promoters of stadium size venues, the store manager who'd sat in when she was transferred came down and said, ``I guess we should have listened to you.''

E

dward and Gerard would have so much fun putting makeup on her, mascara around the eyes, cheekbone highlights and multicolored lips, redoing her after a few hours.  A new look deserved a new name and she'd noticed in the employee rule book that you had to wear a nametag while on the floor but it didn't say the tag had to be in your name.  Lorelei and Mitzi and Gert all got nametags and though she'd just grab one from the drawer Edward and Gerard became convinced that her personality for that day was reflected by the name.

Lorelei was aloof and cool, would answer a customer's question with, ``Edward knows more about that than I do, he'll be glad to assist you,'' turning away and moving to the far end of the counter.  Mitzi was scatterbrained, ditzy, the little finger held to the front teeth and a ``Tee-hee,'' as excuse for any silly act.

Gert was the one they feared, Gerard watching as she pins on her tag then running to Edward, ``It's Gert!''  And they would step lightly.

But mostly it was just playful fun to get through a day, none of them planned to make a career of this, it paid the rent so they could live in San Francisco.  They'd stand around and mutter catty remarks about the customers that streamed past, gossip about people they knew, and brag about their carousing.

``I was a docent on Angel Island last summer,'' Gerard is telling them, ``we get to see so many places where the public isn't allowed.''  Edward, ``How would you know?  You probably spent the whole time in the men's room.''

``We've made Thursdays `Gay Night' at the ice rink in San Mateo, a bunch of us get in cars and drive down and take over the place.  At some point in the evening they do these theme skates, Just the Boys, Just the Girls and when he gets to Couples Only the announcer adds, `That's Couples, Boy-Girl, Girl-Boy.'  Like that stopped us.''

She opens her drawer behind the counter one morning to see a female doll bound and gagged with a ransom note.

Edward explains it to them, ``Macy's likes to hire gays because we're such fashion trend-setters, you go out on the street and look at all those well-dressed shoppers and most of the guys are imitation our styles.''  Gerard, ``The only people I see out there mimicking your style are pushing shopping carts.''

And of course, and not the least, their sexual exploits, ``I was about fifteen and already fully aware of where my yearnings lay.  There weren't a lot of outlets there in the middle of Indiana but I found some advertisements in a paper and answered one.  I got home from school first so could get the mail and sent a reply to this man.  We were going to meet up but the way he worded the second letter put me off, I got scared, he wrote, `I cannot emphasize this too greatly, you must have absolutely no body hair.' ''

Edward paused to let this sink in then said, ``But I did go meet the second guy.''

Sunday nights at the discos became locals night, what with so many antique shops, hair salons, restaurants closed on Monday the Castro boys didn't have to mingle with the bridge and tunnels types.  Gerard is telling how they left the Troc a little before the 6 a.m. closing to get a cab ahead of the crowd and be at the Balconey when it began serving alcohol.  ``We have to wait a bit outside and get in the cab just as everyone else starts streaming out the door.  The driver sits there a minute and watches, then picks up the mike, 'Better send the rest,' he says.  We pull away and I ask what that was all about.  'The doorman wanted forty cabs so the dispatcher sent fifteen.  After I saw all you people I knew we needed the other twenty-five.' ''

Edward is recapping, ``I was up at the River and this one bartender was so hot that when he asks what I want I toss my room key on the bar and say, `I want you to come up to my room so I can give you a blowjob.'  He says, `Can't, gotta work.'  So I say, 'In that case I want a scotch and soda.' ''

He looks around to make sure there are no customers, then continues, ``After I get back I'm down in the men's room at the Castro theater and this guy's giving a blowjob by the urinals and he looks at me and says, ``Don't leave, you're next.''

Edward smiles at Cindy, ``I'll bet you wish you had a penis.''  She doesn't even pause, ``Oh I think I've had a few.''

For almost a decade Gerard had been the featured cartoonist in the national gay magazine The Advocate, he was given a full page each month for his cartoons that depicted svelte young men with beefy shoulders, tight butts and impossibly thin waistlines. 

Over time Gerard begin bringing in cartoons he'd done of a Cindy character, lanky and blond standing at the cosmetics counter eyes rolled as she says to a customer, ``Lady, I'm way too cool to even talk to you.'' or the ice princess approached at a club, ``Don't ask, I won't dance.''

As the 1980s ended Gerard's cartoon page had to be cancelled, the world he depicted had all but disappeared, the happy-go-lucky gays with their campy problems had given way to one where all humor was bitter, the rainbow flag at permanent half-mast.  As a gift he did a multipanel story for her, ``Bleachy Locks and the Three Dicks,'' with Cindy playing the roll he would have normally drawn for a gay man.

The employees went on strike and initially most everyone came out and picketed but after a while most drifted away.  But not their little group and being out on the street every day gave them an authority; prior to this they could've cared less about being in a union.  They sang rally songs in Union Square, calling themselves ``Wilson and the Pickets.''  By the time the strike ended everyone working the floor knew them.

S

he took Dan's book with her on that first tour and later, when they did small displays and could fly with quilt in large duffels (once a skycap grabbed at the straps and groaned, saying``What'd you got in here, dead bodies?'') she'd carry it on the plane.  At security the book would glide into the x-ray tunnel and she would watch the woman at the monitor stop the conveyer, back it, glance up to see who was standing there and then shake her head, smiling.

She left it under her seat in DFW and realized it as soon as she got in the terminal so ran back down the tube into the now empty cabin.  Three stewardesses prim in navy uniforms were huddled down the aisle with the opened book and as she approached one looked up and said, having read the inscription, ``Why you must be Cindy.''

They returned the book and thanked her for the best laugh they'd had in years.

W

hen the workshop got underway she'd stop in to sew for a while after work, there was no organization, just people showing up.  Many wanted help sewing a single panel and over time those who were there most often took the time to assist them, usually doing the more difficult parts themselves.  She'd forget to remove her Macy's name tag and people began calling her Gert.  Soon, if someone needed thread or fabric or instruction, it was ``Ask Gert.''  Jack was always there, after Joe had died and then Wade had died and Jack had taken the HIV Early Retirement Plan he had nowhere else to go.  You could hear him across the room, his voice rising over the drum of the machines, an imploring ``Gerr-eert.''  Because no one else bothered she learned to fix the constantly snagging and breaking machines so that ``Can you wait until Gert gets here?'' was the usual recommendation.

It had been over a year since Roger had died, her other life still overlapped, the life where she was Cindy, a girlfriend wanting her to get out more, you need to meet some new people, drove a group down to a sports bar in San Mateo.  They pass the brightly lit entrance and Mollie begins to circle for a place to park.  Cindy goes, ``Stop, let me out!''  Mollie says, ``Wait so we can all go in together.''

She's already got the car door open, ``If I walk in that place with three other women I'll never meet anyone.''

They're at a table now chatting across the aisle with a group of guys.  The room is jumping, multiple TV screens flicker as waitresses hefting drink trays drift past walls of framed photos of leaping catches, corkscrew swings, newspaper headlines in Second Coming type, a noisy sports bar in the early evening, surrounded by memories.  Mollie is at the cigarette machine when one of the guys asks Cindy where she lives.  ``San Francisco?'' he says, ``Aren't you worried, things are kind of scary up there?''  She thinks, take it easy Cindy, give this guy a chance, she scans the place, all the activity, ``Things look pretty wild right here if you ask me.''

But the guy persists, ``No, I mean aren't you scared with all those fags dying of AI . . .'' which was all he got out of his mouth before she is up out of her chair, ``Why don't you just go Fuck Yourself Asshole!''

She pulls Mollie away, ``Come on, we're going.'' and Mollie says, ``Cindy, I left you alone for ten seconds! —what did you do?''

S

itting in the living room the night Dan brought the book she did as he asked, pulled it open to find Dan had labouriously hollowed out the interior and in the open space lay an enormous anatomically correct battery operated dildo, the infamous three D-cell Folsom Street Special, the ones kept up on the wall display behind the counter, Are You Man Enough?

She sits there just staring at it, Dan says, ``You need to name it, why don't you call it Steely.''

``I'm not going to call it Steely, Dan.''

``Then what?  It should have a name.''

She looks up at him and says, ``Pee Wee.''

The next morning during the final loading of Stella as everyone hugged and well-wished she showed the book around.  They were going out into America, across the whole continent and had no idea what to expect.  Their joke was that they had raised enough money to get to Boston and after that it was just a big uncertainty.

Except it wasn't really a joke.

A week later, when they would've reached Phoenix, Marcel had a little anxiety attack as he opened the office that morning and saw the Western Union Overnight Special Delivery envelope that had been slid under the door.  He knew what these cost, Gert wouldn't have wasted the money unless it was important, unless something had gone very wrong.

He ignored the blinking phone lines to open the telegram and then relaxed as he read the blocked words, ``SEND BATTERIES!''

___________________________________________________________

naked brunch

In the Introduction to his best known work William Burroughs explained that the title meant ``exactly what the words say . . . a frozen moment when everyone sees what is on the end of every fork.''

_____________________________________

Y

ou have received an invitation to one of the weekly lunches that the wealthy matrons Mimsy and Delia preside over at the Poodle Dog, old world wood-panel elegance, rich leather banquettes, sparkling crystal.  Soft music.  Catty gossip and gentle quips volley around the table amid giggles and Oh My's while waiters in formal attire hover discreetly, serving carts glide past and the maître d'  keeps a close watch.  At these lunches sit the crème de la crème of San Francisco, opening night at the opera and symphony, private boxes, parties in ballrooms of estates that have ballrooms, without these women there would be no society page, no society.  You have arrived.

As you lift Chef François'  famous Bœuf Bourguignon  to your mouth the room light suddenly intensifies, colors bleach in the dazzling glare, all movement and sound halts.  Even squinting it is difficult to look around the table.  The moment is frozen.

At the end of your fork, instead of the famous Bœuf , no longer couched in the trappings of society, you see a chunk of raw meat, dead flesh from the dumb beast that screamed in primal agony when slaughtered, it drips blood that spots the starched and immaculate white cloth.  Across the table Mimsy and Delia sit naked, their veins a sickly blue against pale wrinkled skin.  They glare at you as lips curl over teeth into a snarl.

_____________________________________

B

runch on the cafe patio, settled into canvas director's chairs at a round table shaded by a red and navy Cinzano umbrella, protected from the wind by a weathered wood fence, bright magenta bougainvillea cascades over one side and gnarled branches and beards of purple wisteria form a trellis that frames the entrance.  After a night closing bars on Folsom Street Joe, Wade and Jack have returned, the wide empty boulevard outside looks completely different in the daylight.  The waiter comes over, ``What can I get you guys to drink?''  It's eleven a.m.

Jack starts, ``I'll have a screwdriver,'' and before the waiter can say, ``No,'' and before Jack can ask why not Wade has grasped his forearm and speaks, ``He'll have an Anita.''

The waiter walks away and Wade says, ``We're boycotting orange juice, you must have heard the crap that bitch is spewing about us in Florida.  It's scary enough our new President is a born-again, soon we may be boycotting peanuts too.''

Three leather men at next table are passing a hand-rolled cigarette, Jack raises his nose into the air, sniffs, smiles, ``Mmmm, something smells good.  Is that on your menu, I didn't see it on mine.''

``Want some?'' Joint is coming across as a waiter passes, three plates fanned out in his left hand, one plate held in his right.  He stops, sets the one plate down, intercepts the joint, takes a quick puff then retrieves the plate and continues on.

As Jack hands the roach back the swarthy guy in black jacket leans towards him, preceded by his body odor, stubble surrounding his smile, ``You into FFA?''

Jack, just off that boat from Kokomo, Indiana takes a sip of his vodka and apple juice and shakes his head, he doesn't understand the question.

Grimacing the guy repeats himself, enunciating each word slowly like explaining to a child, "I said,  Are-You-Into-F-F-A?"

Jack ponders a second, then answers, he has to say something, ``Well I think they had it at my high school.''

After the meal and after them buying the leather guys a round of drinks and after the leather guys buying them a round of drinks, as they cross Folsom Street in the early afternoon sunlight to the car, Joe clues him in, ``That guy wasn't talking about Future Farmers, Jack, the places he goes to they give you a cup of Crisco when you come through the door.''

Further up the block Jack sees the three leather guys walk to a car where one opens the trunk lid and helps another into the dark and cramped space.  Then he shuts the lid.

Wade is unlocking the door to the car, squinting from the sun, ``Where to now—the night is young!''

_____________________________________

R

ay and Eddie are getting the store ready for Sunday brunch, arranging the salt and pepper, napkins, thin glass vases with daisies and baby bottles of half-and-half on the tables.  And recounting their respective Saturday nights, why they're so hungover.  Ray is saying, ``We started at the Eagle and then went Stud, FeBe's, Powerhouse, Ambush and after that I'm not sure.  Actually after the Stud I'm not too sure.  But I know I was there!''

``You must've been at the Stud before I got there, I didn't see you.''  Eddie is over at the bar marrying the ketchup and the mustard in their respective red and yellow squirt bottles, his face has a smooth sheen and his eyes are dark from the makeup and mascara not quite removed.  ``You wouldn't have recognized me anyway.  I was Glenda the Gorgeous, you know, that leather miniskirt and dark wig with the bangs.  And I was gorgeous, this guy danced with me half the night and kept buying drinks and I don't think about it until we get back to his place and I realize he's clueless.''

``So what happens—he want the money back for the drinks?''

``We're in his kitchen under this horrid flourescent light and he's casually leaning against the wall holding his white wine, Mr. Cool, and I don't know what else to say so I just go, `So do you like to suck dick?'  His eyes get real big and he sort of melts, slides down the wall holding his wine till he's sitting on the floor staring up with his mouth open.''

Eddie turns, head up, left arm akimbo and right tossed in the air to wave an imaginary cigarette holder, ``I mean I was hot, girl!''

_____________________________________

I

n a human sense the epidemic was ending about 1992 and was all but over by 1996, that is, so many had died among various groups of friends and with each death fewer were left in each group that there was no one to write an obituary.  Even with a miracle cure too many people had died, their world would never return, they lived in a community of ghosts.  The protease inhibitors became available in 1996 and the death rate slowed but for the community that had arrived to march and dance in the late 1970s who was around to celebrate?  The T-shirt read, ``I only want two things: a cure and all my friends back.''

In 1996 a final full display of the quilt was done in DC, after that it would be too large to ever be shown in its entirety again.  And around 1996 the first of a new type of gay began showing up in San Francisco.

Those who'd come in the 70s had just arrived, no job, no place to live, they just wanted to be part of the storied mix, to see what was happening, to join in the fun.  And what they created merely by being a part of that mix, was unique in all the world.  The new y2k-era gays came for job interviews first and moved only when certain that a safe, secure world awaited them.  Then, a few thousand miles from home, they would come out of the closet screaming about discrimination and marginalization, and about how brave they are now, living as an openly gay man right here in San Francisco.  These gays brought a new kind of virus with them, it was called gentrification but that term, implying something well-bred and genteel, was mere social trapping for what it was doing to San Francisco.

By 1996 most of the Folsom Street places were gone and an earlier attempt by the city planners to rebrand the area as SOMA now succeeded.  The city planners caught the first wave of a dot-com economy and proclaimed ``Multimedia Gulch'' as a great live/ work place for young computer graphics artists and software engineers in an industry about to explode in this new Internet thing. 

Fifteen years later Multimedia Gulch was the Edsel of the San Francisco Planning Department and they quietly changed tactics, pushing the area as a glamorous Transbay District.  Same people, same ideas but couched now in the New Urbanist clichés and catch phrases used by city planners everywhere.  Maybe it was just San Francisco but it seemed like gays lacking the creativity and aesthetic sensibility necessary for the traditional theater and music and arts careers found City Planning as a college major amenable to their true talent:  moving into an entrenched beauracracy, identifying those in power and kissing up to them.  Rarely did their plans produce any of the wonderful outcomes promised in their fancy reports and presentations but they always moved on before the failure was obvious.

_____________________________________

B

efore he got in the car Jack scanned Folsom Street once more in the daylight, trying to see where they'd been the night before.  Long brick warehouses, faded signs, unmarked doorways, dark casement windows and cracked chicken wire glass, could have been any of these.  He remembers guys sitting naked on stools along one bar as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  A barber chair was racked flat at the far end where a naked customer was spread out and being coated with lather.  The barber wore a leather face mask and skull cap while giving a complete body shave, the straight razor gliding over the skin, then raised and the gobs of lather slopped into a bucket.  The scrotal area was saved for last, a show made with the long blade, slow titillation around those most precious of body parts.

Afterwards the guy would join the others at the bar to get that free drink and show off his sleek new look.

Back on the sidewalk where a half block away a burly doorman allowed them through another unmarked entrance and Jack almost immediately got separated from Joe and Wade.  Every inch of the interior was painted flat black and every opening and stairwell seemed to have someone leaning beside it like security, apparently allowing only certain people through.  Jack had to brush past one hefty guy with arms crossed who eyed him with disdain and found he was in a urine stenched bathroom, tall ceramic urinals and guys having sex.  Joe and Wade weren't there and as Jack quickly left he bumped by the guy again.  He said, ``You looking for something?''

Jack just nodded, ``Yeah,'' over his shoulder and kept going.  From behind him as he moved away he heard the guy's answer, it seemed to sum up everything about San Francisco in this era, the guy said with confidence, ``Well I have it.''

B

urroughs again:  ``Bureaus cannot live without a host, being true parasitic organisms. . . . A bureau operates on the principle of   inventing needs  to justify its existence . . . a turning away from the human evolutionary direction of infinite potentials and differentiation and independent spontaneous action, to the complete parasitism of a virus. . . . Bureaus die when the structure of the state collapses.  They are as helpless and unfit for independent existences as a displaced tapeworm, or a virus that has killed the host.''

In San Francisco, in y2k, as this new gentrification virus stalked the city, there on the end of every fork, as it was lifted from the little can, slippery and glistening with brine, one saw a pale and flaccid cocktail wiener.

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invitation

W

ith the wisdom of hindsight the year 1981 was pivotal.  Ronald Reagan took office as 40th President of the United States and 52 American hostages were released after 15 months of captivity in Iran.  In New York the Mudd Club closed and the Saint disco opened.  And little noted at time, the June 5 issue of the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report  included in a brief article entitled ``Pneumocystis  Pneumonia—Los Angeles'' which described five cases of previously healthy men about age 30 found to have biopsy-confirmed infection with this rare microbe.

The Centers for Disease Control's MMWR  publishes data on notifiable diseases from national surveillance programs as well as observations of special interest to its readers, public health workers, those that see the big picture.  Doctors deal with individual cases and only when enough are reported to the CDC does it warrant a mention in the MMWR .  A short editorial addendum to that article explained that the ``fact that these patients were all homosexuals suggests an association between some aspect of a homosexual lifestyle or disease acquired through sexual contact.''

While this was the first public recognition of the syndrome people in the gay communities of LA, New York and San Francisco had already begun noticing something weird going on.

Three weeks after the article appeared San Francisco hosted the largest gathering of gays in the world at that year's International Lesbian & Gay Freedom Day Parade.

T

hey sat cross-legged on the oriental carpet, four young men in Ricco's living room in Chelsea all intently watching Larry lean over the mirror holding a rolled hundred dollar bill to his nose.  His head swept along one of the lines of white powder on the glass, the line disappeared, Larry raised up, inhaled deeply and passed the mirror along.

Joey, waiting his turn, idly picked up a small booklet from the coffee table with a medical illustration of an uncircumcised penis on the outside.  A forcep pulled at the shaft opening.  The packet unfolded like a map, the next page had a similar drawing but with the foreskin pulled open and held by three foreceps.

He continued and now had the paper lain out on the rug and ignored his turn as the mirror came by.  Drawings on the third and fourth pages continued the theme.  Joey looked up, ``What is this?''  Watching from the couch Ricco said, ``Find that interesting do you?''

Joey unfolded again to where the skin covering the shaft was sewn back in place and he shook his head, mesmerized, ``But what is it ?'' he said.

``Keep going, you'll see.''

Joey turned the final fold so that the complete series lay flat on the carpet and the last square showed that it was an invitation.

Joey looked up, ``Another one of those overpriced places for the disco queens, prissy little guys with glitter and feather boas, right?''

Ricco leaned back into the cushions and closed his eyes, ``Maybe if you didn't spend all your time at the trucks or out on a pier and socialized a little more you'd know about these things.''

T

he Saint was the most expensive disco in history, New York intensity melded with Hollywood special effects.  In 1980 there was no reason to think this human tsunami of gay freedom would ever retreat, a cavernous domed room with an enormous high-tech planetarium projector dominating the center like some alien spacecraft just landed, a sound system with over 500 hundred speakers.  Total immersion, the place could pack in 4000 men dancing together on a busy night with no reference to time or location anywhere in the universe except this space.  This was the future.  The future was now.

A private club that targeted the young and hot, males only, Pans only, those that could afford it, those that understood how the sex and the drugs and the music were so tightly intertwined.  Theme parties, especially at the solstices and equinoxes, the Age of Aquarius had dawned, sympathy and trust abounding.  Dancing shirtless for hours with only enough room to sweat between you and the shirtless men on all sides, thousands of men moving as one, as a flock, handing an amyl to the hunk who just appeared across from you, eyes locked, smiles, crushing one for yourself, feeling the thin glass shell shatter into the gauze mesh, holding it to your nose, a vapor chill, the sudden crisp clarification as a bracing Winter breath fills the lungs, then the soaring rush as a heart-pounding Spring drives vitality into the bloodstream, into the brain.  And down into the crotch. 

The music never, never stops, not once in however many hours you've been out on the floor, under this light show of a universe, you and that hunk now wrapped around one another, both shirtless, moving, heading for the stairs, knowing without words, up to the balcony.  Here everyone else has the same idea, you try to find an empty space among the moans.

Twenty minutes later you're back down on the floor again jammed in with all the others, dancing furiously and reaching into your shirt pocket.

O

pening night at the September equinox, lines of men around the block and then packed inside this futuristic dome, waiting, the anticipation, could this possibly live up to the hype.  The house music stopped, the lights flared briefly and then the room went completely dark.  After some seconds the minor triad that opens a Chopin prelude sounded as the full planetarium display illuminated and filled the space with stars, a night sky as the ancients must have seen it: wondorous and alive.  Someone there that night told how a unison gasp came from three thousand men who then stared in awed silence until the voice of Donna Summers began a breathy, sexy moan ``Oh baby . . . '' which became an imploring ``I want you to come . . . come, Come, COME! ''

Is this real or could this be magic?

When the drums kicked in it seemed that the brief prelude music had been the funeral march for the pre-Stonewall world, their heroic struggle was ended and a dawning, a celebration had begun.  The volume level exploded and the thousands of young men there broke into a long, sustained cheer because of what they were witnessing, what they were a part of, this new world they were making.

Six months later, at the March 1981 equinox, the whole known universe spans the enormous dome, a billion stars, constellations, galaxies, the great wheeling zodiac turns to Spring, locks in place, the fiery ram roars into the cosmos from his winter cage, horns gouge the firmament, unleashed now he cannot be returned, the fish, wet cold winter, is banished forever.  The stars have aligned, there will be no return.  Those thousands dancing looked up to the heavens, to a bright promise in the explosion of stars but their fate was marked in the darkness of their blood by a tiny strand of nucleic acid.  In a far corner Prince Prospero whispered a line from Psalms, ``the pestilence that walketh in darkness, . . .'' which went unheard.  It was time to party, it was innocent fun, it was already too late.  The ceremony of innocence is drowned.

The future seemed so bright, how could it not be, it was written on the stars.

J

oey is still staring at the invitation spread out before him on the rug as Ricco explains, ``There's to be a ritual circumcision, an altar in the middle of the floor, an Aztec sacrifice, you know, one of those pagan things.''

``I want to go to this,'' Joey says, ``This looks like my kind of place.''

L

ess than two years after The Saint opened those expensive invitation packets began to be returned, stamped ``No Forwarding Address.''  Initially they couldn't understand why someone would spend so much money on membership fees and then not leave a forwarding address.  And as more and more of the invites began being returned they saw a parallel with the increasing numbers cited in the newspaper stories and they began to understand why.

E

ach October the Centers for Disease Control publishes an Annual Summary of ``Significant Public Health Events'' compiled from data and reports for the previous year.  The 1982 issue began, ``For 1981, one of the most significant public health events in the United was not an epidemic or the appearance of a new disease, but the marked decrease in the occurrence of a well-known illness.  The reported cases of measles for 1981 reached their lowest level since 1925, the year that communicable disease reporting on a weekly basis was instituted in the United States.''

The future is written.

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